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Ok…My friend just got engaged and is planning to get married in December of 2007 because she is just about to start school and will be done October of 2007. SHe planned the wedding for December because of ‘financial reasons’. SHe will have student loans to pay off, and she just told me they are taking out a loan for $18k for the wedding!! I think this is crazy since neither of them have good jobs (she is a waitress at the olive garden….) I know it is NOT good to start off a marriage in debt, so should I say anything to her? I totally respect their decisions, but I just worry about them =0( What to do…what to do….

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Some marraiges are doomed for failure from the very start :(

i agree that it’s stupid to take out a loan for a wedding but it really isn’t your place and she will probably get offended even though you have the best intentions

Bring it up ONCE as a concerned friend, and be prepared for her to listen politely and ignore your advice, and don’t bring it up again. You can’t live your friend’s life for her.

(But for the record, I totally agree with you! :)

You can tell your friend your concerns about taking on a debt like this, but in the end, she and her fiance will do what they want.

I agree with you! It is ridiculous to spend that kind of money on a wedding.

i think that’ll be her problem to sort out. you done your bit and warned her. its sweet of u to care. $18 k loan? are u sure? loan maybe rejected due to fact not earning enough.

i think thats really dumb to spend that much on a wedding b/c not to be mean but you can never tell how long the marriage will last. i mean it would really suck if the got divorced for some reason after only 6 months.tell her to consider her options before making such a drastic decision. she could still have a beautiful wedding for around 5,000 dollars. good luck

If you are close, I would ask her why she is willing to start off her married life with such a huge, unnecessary debt! I mean, if it was for a house, then fine. But the wedding, which I understand is very important, is only one day. Its every day after that thats more important.

As her friend (if she really cares for you as you obviously do her), she should at least listen politely, even if she - just as politely - tells you to go jump in a lake!

Sure you can say something, but it doesn’t mean she’s going to do anything to alter her decision. It IS a lot of money (about 2/3 of my annual income!), but to each her own. Just remind her that $18K is a LOT of money (under any circumstances) when 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Her marriage may not be one - but is it worth a $25K+ (after interest) bet??

Yes, you are correct on all points. Eighteen thousand dollars is too much for a wedding. No, it is not your place to say anything to your friend.

They will be paying a very high interest rate on this loan. It is a unsecured loan isn’t it. Perhaps, your friend is just dreaming now and when they try to get a loan and unable to; they will wake up to reality.

WOW, what a pair of idiots. I could NEVER imagine taking a 18K loan out for a wedding. I say if you cant afford it you cant afford it. They are setting themselves up for a nice quick divorce. You can try and say something but I dont think she will listen and she might even jump to the conclusion that your jealous. Let them make their own mistakes.

She must know how risky it is to take out a loan to pay for a wedding. Apparently, all of the cons outweigh the one pro of being able to have the wedding of her dreams.

You can say something to her if you want, but it won’t do any good. Be warned…this one is going to be a bridezilla. No sane woman takes out an 18K loan to pay for a wedding.

I’d say use the internet and find all sorts of stuff on weddings. Send her emails and have chats about planning. Every bride to be loves to chat about that. Casually slip in what experts say about taking a loan for the wedding. Then switch to chatting about color schemes. Don’t do it in an obvious way but I agree with you. You have the wedding you can afford.

Well, if she did not ask you for advice then there is really nothing you can do. If she asked what you think, I would just tell her how you feel …

I think too many people get caught up in throwing this lavish wedding and having all this *stuff.” I recently married and my hubby and I have very good jobs and money in the bank … but we did not take out any loans. We did accrue about $6,000 in credit card debt which we will have paid off by the end of the year. It is good to pay for as much as you can up front, cut your budget where you can, leave out certain items, and just to downsize the wedding a bit so it doesn’t turn into a money pit.

Every couple that I know that spent a lot on their wedding when they were first starting out regrets it. They would be better off using that money as a down payment on a Condo or Townhouse. Because then they will have a place to live and they will build equity in the house. BUT - you cannot talk sense into people who are in love and want a dream wedding. You can take her out for drinks one night and say “I know you want the childhood dream wedding, everybody does but what about using that money to pay off your bills or find a small house to buy’. Tell her that you’d be happy to help plan a nice and fun wedding that is lower budget. Tell her it’s just because you love her and you will support anything she does.

Yes, it is a terrible idea to take out a loan for a wedding.

Tell her your opinion once, but then back off. Her mistakes are not your responsibility.

Well…your additional details prove that she isn’t very smart. Taking out a loan for a wedding is absoulutely ridiculous. You shuld only spend what you can afford. Starting a marriage with unneccessary debt is stupid.

Of course, so is marrying someone you cheat on and don’t even want to be with. You can say something to her-but is she even going to care what you have to say?

She seems very selfish (marrying someone knowing she’d rather be with someone else) and ignorant.

well it is great to give advice to someone but rem not all people take the advice given.. they way you say something.. with love also breaks down any defensiveness they might have. I would tell her your opinion and just support her with her own decision making. Weddings are hard time and we brides need a ll the support we possibly could receive.. advice is great but only given with Love! I wish your friend the best!

You feel for your friend–that’s great. She’s making a huge mistake, and it’s hard to stand by.

As a friend, you can’t stop her. You can tell her what you think, but you can’t stop her from doing anything. If this is her dream wedding, she’s going to get it regardless of the debt that will be looking her in the face for the next 30 years and each time they try to buy a house or a car.

As a friend, be there for her. She’s sounds like someone who is trying to make up for something, and it sounds like her marriage isn’t going to be as strong as it could be. Be there for her with open arms and NEVER say “I told you so.”

A loan for a house yes, a loan for a reception no. You can’t tell her what to do, but try to tell her it is not good to go into debt for a party. Just invite less people

It’s frustrating when your friend lacks common sense and won’t listen to sound advice–however, it’s your friend’s choice and she is an adult, so if she wants to be stuck with a huge bill, then that’s her problem. You can’t do much about it but be smug when you tell her “I told you so!” when the time comes…

A lot of people have huge weddings to show off. My husband and I spent less than $1,000 on a civil wedding and got it over with and enjoyed a lavish honeymoon in Hawaii instead. We own a house and we just bought an SUV which we paid for in full! His friend had a 30k wedding and has to live in a small apt., lease their cars, blah blah blah…

A lot of people don’t realize that spending too much on a one day affair, can compromise their way of life and future…I can’t imagine having to work my butt off each day just to pay off a debt.

How about: Even though she is your friend, NONE OF THIS IS YOUR BUSINESS!!!! Whether she loves him or not has absolutely nothing to do with you. If she spends 18k on a wedding to a guy she doesn’t love, it isn’t going to effect you at all so why waste your time worrying about someone elses problems. Stay out of it and you will feel alot better. The main problem in this world is that people feel too much, they care too much, they love too much. Just live your own life and let everyone else do the same!

If I were talking her I would tell her that is a bad decision to make, but you asked the question so I would tell you to mind your own business and let them make the mistakes they are going to make. If they both have parents you need to trust that their parents have already talked to them about this and they will decide to do what’s best for them.

I’m not sure how close you are to this girl, but someone needs to tell her that what she’s doing is insane. You do not take on almost $20,000 in debt to have a wedding with a man that you are cheating on. Email this question to her so she can she her insanity in black and white.

Has anyone married or honeymooned in the Carribean? And if so, can you please recommend where. If you vacationed there, perhaps you thought your resort was terrific. I don’t want a destination tragedy so I’m gathering as much info as possible.

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Look into an all-inclusive like Couples. My brother honeymooned there & liked it. I’m sure they arrange weddings as well.

you can also check into the Sandals resorts, my friend honeymooned at the one in st lucia and had the most wonderful time, they are all inclusive you dont even have to pay for alcohol!!

There are several wonderful places for a Caribbean wedding and a lot depends on your budget and the budget of any guests that may attend. Punta Cana is becoming a popular place to have a destination wedding as well as some more traditional places such as US Virgin Islands and Jamaica. If you would like more information about destination weddings please visit our destination wedding web page at bctravelcompany.com. If you are interested in working with a certified destination wedding specialist we would love to talk to you. Our specialist will put several quotes together for you including resort information and once you place your deposit we work with you to create an destination wedding invitation for you guests including prices and information on how to book their travel with us. You can find all our contact information on our website including our toll free number. There are no fees for our services for you or your guests. We help make the planning process easy and fun for you and your guests. We hope to hear from you soon.

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Have you considered a wedding at an all inclusive resort like Sandals in Jamaica? I attended a wedding at Sandals Negril and it was awesome. We were simply guests who were invited by this couple and had a great time watching this wedding on the beach in Sandals Negril.

we are getting married in france. We are covering our bridal parties’ airfare and our parents’ airfare, should we have to cover accomodations as well.

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if it was my wedding i would, or at least offer to cover half the cost. booking so many rooms like that you may be able to get a discount of sorts. a group of mine recently had an event out of town and we ended up booking out an entire hotel so they gave us a pretty nice discount. on a side note, make sure your marriage will be considered legal wherever you live…i just watched something about destination weddings and people coming home to find out the marriage isn’t legally recognized at home.

good luck and congrats!

in my opinion it would be nice to offer the bridal party and your parents - guests obviously pay their own. You have chosen to get married abroad and have asked your bridal party to stand for you so they shouldnt be out to much expense.

if u can afford to spent lot of money then u cover all da expenses but if u cant afford then do something which is upto ur limits, marriage is one very precious occasion in ur life and dat shud last forever so dont worry abt da expences it takes. all da best.

If your guest cant afford it, how old are they are they poor, middle class what you have to take into account some people will be able to afford it and some won’t. I would tell everyone they need to pay and if someone says they can’t afford to I would offer to help. So save a little money just in case.

I hate to be the only one to say it but yes, if you already offered to buy the tickets for them then you need to be prepared if they can not cover the accommodations.

You put them in a bad spot if you have not already discussed the details with them prior to purchasing the airfare.

You need to sit down with everyone as a group and just say we wanted to thank you all and wanted to make sure everyone could afford to go and be a part in our wedding that is why you are taking care of the airfare. We would hope this journey you will let us know if you can not take care of the accommodations yourself privately.

This way on an individual basis you can decide if you should purchase their accommodations or lend them a helping hand in any way. Also you avoid the whole well your doing it for that person syndrome if you catch my drift.

Be ready to have to cover some of them as many may not have gone in the first place since they couldn’t afford the airfare.

Dining and travel and other expenses will obviously still be incurred so your bridal party and parents will be thinking of this as well. We know we did all of this ourselves when we got married on a cruise.

Good Luck and congrats!

You actually have it the opposite-you should be paying for lodging, not airfare. They pay for their own airfare.

We’re doing ours in Jamaica (price is all inclusive including airfare)….my parents are actually the ones paying, including half of our wedding partys expenses (which covers lodging, but not the airfare/food). My fiance’s parents are paying their own way (and complaining about it every step of the way).

Of course, if you have the money I’m sure they would appreciate you paying for airfare AND lodging. But in terms of ettiquette, you only need to pay for lodging.

no……….you should not cover accomodations!

She will be hosting a morning after the wedding brunch as well… thought I would get her something to help her entertain, for the house, but not a boring serving tray.

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Try to find out what she would want. I have a very good relationship with my mother-in-law and as a result I know more about her than her children and I am able to find the gifts that she wants or needs most. Her one son always wants to buy her high-tech gifts and she doesn’t like or want them. In fact, one year he bought her a computer and then neglected to teach her how to use it. I got the job and that is how we developed our relationship. Just talk with her. When she mentions something make a note of that item and then find out if she has this item.

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Maybe a new set of pretty coffee cups or a tea set that matches her kitchen theme?

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what about…maybe some pretty tea towels, or a nice vase in which flowers can be placed in for the shower, brunch and Mother’s days after that..see with the vase then you can surprise her with flowers whenever..or if she’s a big gardener then she can use it for her fresh flowers.

Becoming a party/wedding planner…Does anyone have any suggestions on the process or how to start in this business?? I have dressed plenty of themed party/fun rooms over the years and I am planning 2 wedding as we speak(both for free) I think this would be a fun job and I’m very interested in starting something that I love to do… Any suggestions?

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There is a lot more to being a party/wedding planner that just planning the decorations. In order to be an effective wedding planner, you need to know every aspect of the business. Are you going to be a planner who arranges the place and decorations or you going to be a planner who has everything to offer from the flowers, decorations, tents if needed, dinnerware and serving pieces, entertainment, photographer, etc.? If you are going to be a full service wedding planner, you will need to create a portfolio. Start by contacting several florists for instances. Explain to them that you are thinking about becoming a wedding planner, ask them if they have a wedding planned in the future that you could tag along and observe how they do their weddings. In return, you would be happy to inform future clients of your’s the type of work they do and would refer them for a small fee or commission. You will need to do this with every type of business that has anything to do with weddings. Not everyone’s budget or style will be the same, so you will also want to get price lists and several comparisons for each type of businesses. DON’T ever recommend someone that you have not seen their work. You may want to talk with an attorney also about drawing up a contract that protects you as the go between, stating that they have hired each individual company and you are only the go between to make sure everything is being handled properly and minimized stress for the brides. Be sure to catagories your companies for things they specialize in, example: caterers - they bride wants bar-be-que, only offer caterers who serve mostly bar-be-que. Make appointments for you and the bride to have a tasting from a few companies. Last bit of advice: if you have ten caterers who offer bar-be-que, don’t offer all ten. Do your homework and find out how formal, informal, or casual the event will be and then compare to the caterer’s style. Make sure that all your client’s understand that they are paying for your services that include check with various companies to make sure they still have the wedding scheduled, what’s on the menu is going to be prepared, etc. and that they are not paying you to perform the services yourself.

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I have no clue, but that has always sounded fun to me too. I hope your future business goes great!

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Get yourself a few business cards, and a website to advertise your services. Try advertising at your local supermarket, and talk to friends and family who plan to get married soon to see if you can offer your services for free/low rates to get your foot on the ladder. If you do a good job they will refer you to their friends and so forth. Once you get that done, see if it takes off. Good luck!

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It does sound like a fun and creative job until you really think about these two things:

There goes your Saturday night.

Not to mention dealing with Bridezilla!

Did you try to google it? Here is one I just googled, there were several others. Just type in wedding planner careers. Good luck!

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You have already begun, you just need to sit down with yourself and decide on what your prices will be.

Base this upon:
1. Materials used
2. Preparation time
3. Size of party to be planned (number of attendees)
3. Food costs

Compare these to other planners in your area and try to be as competitive as possible without losing money.

God bless you in your endeavors.

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To me it sounds like a fairly easy thing to start. As long as you have the money to advertise though…..do a search for all the wedding planners in your area and you will see the sites that come up. You need to have the money to advertise on those websites (theknot.com and stuff like that). Just build a cool website, make sure you know what you are doing, and have links to your site placed on the other wedding sites.

The internet is the first place people go once they get engaged and as long as you have a website that comes up in thier search, you will have a fighting chance.

Just make sure your ideas are good and you have the drive to succeed and you will do fine.

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At a professional ballpark….My fiance and I are getting married at Ameriquest field, home of the Texas Rangers.

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A lovely old church……

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Stan hywet hall in akron ohio. Its beautiful in the fall rigtht now. especially the birch alley way!!

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Fairgrounds.

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Somewhere outdoors in the mountains!!!!

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the best is in a lovely graden full with beautiful flowers.

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I’ve heard there are alot of good Wedding Chapel’s out in Vegas.

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I don’t know the best place, but apparently, you can get married in a haunted castle in the Scottish Highlands if you want…

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A neighbor of mine’s granddaughter got married by a preacher on the beach near St Petersburg Florida! I think that would be an excellent, & very romantic place to get married!

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Its according to where you live and what you like…on the East Coast you have Niagra Falls, the Poconos, Disney World, Gatlinsburg, TN, and out West you have Hawaii and Vegas! Or you could stick to a beautiful Church.

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The beach, because you have the beautiful fresh air, its calming waters, the beautiful sunsets. It doesn’t get better than that.

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 Maui, Hawaii,on the beautiful beach…

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the international space station!!!!

Just to let you know it is in space!

I’m 22 years old now..I only know my college and school friends, i fell in love once with a guy but it ended …will i end up getting married thru arranged marriages or what??

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There’s a niche in this world for everyone. You are only 22 years old and you are obviously in transition from college to the “real world”. Find your interests and follow them. You will find a like minded person. Just because you are quiet and shy doesn’t make you unsociable. It means that you march to the beat of a different drummer and that’s a great way to be. It means you are an individual and not just part of the herd. As the French would say: “Vive la differance”- or ‘Long live people who dare to be different”.

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on line dating

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There r many shy guys also
shy person r good for longterm commitment
so go for arranged marriage

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You will eventually. Finding the right person is hard. Don’t worry about obtaining everything now, you will eventually one day.

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You just haven’t found the right guy to click with yet. When the guy that is the type for you happens to be around, I think you’ll find yourself being sociable just because you both have something in common to talk about.

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if you need to train yourself to be more outgoing, join Toastmasters.

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you shouldn’t worry about it. If you’re so bent on meeting your “soul-mate” then you’re going to read way too much into every encounter. I love being single, it allows me time to be myself instead of part of a “we”. you’re 22- life is long, relax and be your own person, independence is the most attractive trait I see in women.

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husbands don’t just fall out of the sky. you have to open up and let someone in to your heart.

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Join clubs for things you do enjoy doing. There are book reading clubs, or chess clubs, or ballroom dancing clubs. There are all kinds of things you can do to meet eligible men. Join your local library association. Or get involved with your alumni organization. Or start volunteering for different causes. You can come into contact with a lot of eligible men if you try.

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Force yourself. Take simple steps. Find a good dating service and be very selective. Make sure you know what is important to you, and choose on the criteria that matter. Set a reasonable goal — for example: “I will not go more than a month without making a date.” Stay in control of yourself.

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You are still quite young. I am a 31 year old guy and still am not married. And I am not so sure I feel bad about it. But one thing you can do is to approach the guy first. Men should not always have to approach the woman first. Times have changed. Some guys even like getting approached by women. Don’t worry about that myth. The easy myth. The one that says that if you approach the guy fisrt then you come off as easy or sleazy. It isn’t true. It’s crap. Alot of guys would like to hear a funny pickup line from women. Sense of humor is very important.

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Sweetheart your 22. You still have time to find Mister Right. Don’t settle for Mister Right Now! Since you are in college try joining study groups or social clubs on campus. Also try doing some community service you’ll meet new people that way. But if you would much rather hang around in the house instead of going out there is always on line dating. But eventually, who ever you meet online is going to want to meet in person.

Be safe and make sure you don’t meet people when you’re alone.

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It’s not the worst thing in the world not to marry. It’s better than an unhappy marriage. You could ask your friends to fix you up on a blind date. You could try a service like eharmony.com or match.com or you could put some effort into joining a church that has an active singles program or volunteering at a charity such as Habitat for Humanity where you will meet new people while you are helping others. It beats staying home and feeling sorry for yourself.

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most people end up marrying former classmates or someone they meet through a common friend

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They always say you meet the person of your dream when you stop looking will that is a lie. What I would like you to try is maybe go to a place that you feel safe with a girl friend no guys . and just start looking around the room. don’t really look at one person .Just look at who’s their . then you and your friend start talking about anything. this time have your friend just look around as you two are still talking and if you two can get a table where you don’t have to turn your head that much too look is better. But anyway start going there once a week that way people will start to talk to you and you won’t have to break the ice. But intell you have a guy talking to you and know you are not taken don’t take a guy there. And this way also gives you girl time.

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Well my advice to you .. dont even worry about it! Just live your life the way you want .. and if something is ment to be .. it will happen. You are only 22 .. that is still young and you have plenty of time to find the one you are ment to spend the rest of your life with!

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Wait for the right one! I was 34 when I got married. Don’t just get married for the sake of being married. That’s a major reason why the divorce rate is so high!

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Where do you volunteer, worship, play. If do reading, do the libary and book store gig. etc.

Civil partnerships in the United Kingdom became available to same-sex couples in December 2005 and grant rights and responsibilities virtually identical to marriage.

Registered Civil Partners are entitled to “a range of property rights, the same exemption as married couples on inheritance tax, social security and pension benefits, and also the ability to get parental responsibility for a partner’s children”, [1] as well as responsibility for reasonable maintenance of one’s partner and their children, tenancy rights, full life insurance recognition, next-of-kin rights in hospitals, and others.

There is a formal process for dissolving partnerships akin to divorce.

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A civil partnership is a relationship between two people of the same sex, formed when they register as civil partners of each other, which ends only on death, dissolution or annulment.

Civil partnerships in the United Kingdom became available to same-sex couples in December 2005 and grant rights and responsibilities virtually identical to marriage.

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it is instead of a marriage, it is in a non-religious place (town hall etc.) anyone can get a civil partnership, homosexual or hetrosexual and it has the same legal rites as marriage

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domestic partner, while it doesn’t have all the benefits of a marriage, it does have a few of the protections, it is basically a contract for shared assets and liabilities and has all the rights and responsibilities similar to a business … used by non-related people who are sharing an asset or debt to protect themselves from the other partner not fulfilling that persons partnership obligations

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a civil partnership is title and a union with a contract that was signed in front of judge between 2 consenting adults that gives legitimacy to a relationship.and that they will live as married couple and can only be voided thru death or legal annulment

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Just another word for “marriage” EXCEPT you don’t have the tax benefits on the federal level (and some states don’t allow it either).

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Is so pooftahs and Lesboes can get hitched and pretend to be married…

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It’s a kind of marriage between 2 gays that makes them a couple legally, so in the event of death they are classed as next of kin as a husband or wife would be classed. And rightly so!

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Civil partnership is a commitment between two same sex people
basically a replacement for marriage, but with the same rights. The person becomes your next of kin. It secures a person left behind after one partners death to legally be able to inherit any estate. This applies also to a separation of a civil partnership.